"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
