i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
