When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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