Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
