You really coming over, don't trick.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
