I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
