i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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