You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
