Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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