My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize