You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
