we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
