do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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