David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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