You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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