Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Randomize
