why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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