I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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