you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
