she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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