so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
