He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
