glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
