and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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