wakey wakey hands off snakey
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
