That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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