The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
