it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
