You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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