i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
