The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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