I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize