I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
