He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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