can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
