i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just blew my weed a kiss
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
