wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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