You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize