the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
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