Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
