I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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