He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
