I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize