I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My cat gives me a boner
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
