Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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