I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
