im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
