It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
