She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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