You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
