Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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