Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
