the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
