It's like God shit irony all over that family
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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