my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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