do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
