well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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