am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
