I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
