I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
