the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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